Living with social anxiety disorder is not easy when society constantly forces us to be social animals. We are forced to put a smile on our face in the midst of being hurt. We are forced to say kind words when others demean us. We are forced to be friendly to those who secretly wish us harm. It is challenging enough to be human in today’s world (giving the notion that most of us still haven’t figured it out) but on top of all things because we are human, we’re supposed to be the prime example of knowing how to communicate, compared to that of other species.
Social anxiety…what is it?
“To keep it simple,” Social anxiety disorder, also known as social phobia; is a type of anxiety disorder characterized by excessive fear, anxiety, discomfort, and self-consciousness in social settings. People suffering from this disorder may dread and avoid social situations due to these feelings. There are two types of social anxiety: general & specific. General social anxiety is when a person feels anxious in most social situations, which can often lead to feelings of awkwardness. Specific social anxiety is when someone is afraid of speaking in public or performing in front of others. Despite being common, many people do not fully understand social anxiety, which can lead to misconceptions and further isolate those who suffer from the condition.
Humans don’t communicate well
Human beings would like to think that we are the best at communicating with; social media, texting, talking on the phone, emails and video chatting. But the truth of the matter is as human beings we really don’t communicate well AT ALL! We have the tendency to “talk at each other and not to each other,” and the perfect example of this miscommunication is seen in government between all political parties. We misread social cues from our fellow man each and everyday. Most of these (misreading’s) are purposely demonstrated from those who have prejudices against others, and with lack of communication this adds fuel to an already burning fire. It is hard not to notice a connection between societal woes of communicating and those who suffer from severe social anxiety…So, why is there a connection? Well, it is because people who suffer from social anxiety disorder often have a negative disposition about social interactions, so when society perpetuates deplorable social interactions (i.e., Politicians and Fake News Propaganda) this only reconfirms their preconceived beliefs. Our many efforts to communicate are flawed.
Fear of rejection
We all fear rejection and sometimes it comes in different forms and from various quarters, making one feel cornered, misunderstood, and unaccepted. This can stem from personal relationships, workplaces, social circles, and even our spiritual and political beliefs. The fear of rejection is a deep-seated human fear, often leading to feelings of insecurity, inadequacy, and disappointment. One of the most profound forms of rejection comes from the fear of being a disappointment to others. This fear can be paralyzing, especially when we care deeply about the people around us. Humans are social creatures, and the fear of disappointing those close to us - our family, friends, or partners - can often overshadow our own desires and needs. Compromising one’s own happiness to ensure we don’t disappoint others, not realizing that in the process we might be rejecting ourselves.
The unforeseen impact
One of the most challenging aspects of social anxiety is the impact it has on making friends. Forming a bond with others is a fundamental human need. We crave companionship, understanding, and shared experiences. Social interactions - which come so naturally to many, can be an extreme source of stress for those with social anxiety. Every conversation, every gathering, every casual interaction can become a source of dread. The fear of being judged can make what should be a positive social interaction, quickly turn into an unpleasant experience. Yet for those with social anxiety, the basic need ‘to fit in’ can feel like an impossible task. The fear of rejection, of not being good enough, can make it incredibly difficult to reach out and form those vital connections.
It is what it is
Social anxiety for some, this phrase may not mean much. But for others, it encapsulates a daily struggle. A struggle that can be debilitating, affecting every aspect of their lives. In a world where we are constantly pushed to make formal connections, social anxiety can create a barrier that seems insurmountable. The pressure to be liked, to be a part of the group, can be overwhelming for those who suffer from this condition. “Keep in Mind” like so many mental disorders, social anxiety is manageable. Based on personal experience, if you take one day at a time, open up to one person at a time, and not view every stranger as an immediate threat to your sense of self (the anxiousness of socializing) becomes less and less.
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